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He knew all the cool restaurants, the best places and, as he was only in London occasionally, things moved faster than they should have. Not a great start. Instead of "boyfriend hunting", searching for an exact copy of my ex, why not get out there, enjoy dating, have a good laugh — and, if I felt a connection, some good sex too? By the time you meet, you've both invested so much, you've raised your hopes and his. Most often, though, I didn't have sex at all. If we went back to his, I'd have no idea what to expect. But as passions cool should we blame internet porn or the spread of gender equality, asks Tim Adams.


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After a few dates with "Manchester", I agreed to visit his hotel room next time he was in London. At the top is something like Guardian Soulmates or Match — the ones you pay. The next morning I wrote him an angry text. More than once, I deleted the app, but always came back to it. I used to be committed to it — now I think, if it's just sex, casual encounter sites ecorts and babes one-night hook-up, where's the harm? I never dreamed I'd end up dating 57 men in less than a year. Sometimes I had nothing in common with the guy but there was a sexual spark. If five days pass with no messaging between you, it's history. When you're matched, you can spend days — in some cases, weeks, months — exchanging messages, texting and working yourselves up, filling in the gaps with your imagination. After just a few dates, he booked us a night in a fancy Kensington hotel. In bed, though, he was passionate, archives craigslist sex pics, energetic. We never saw each other. I had friends who'd indulged in one-night stands and was probably guilty of judging them a little, of slut-shaming. I didn't feel comfortable taking someone back to my place, as he'd then know where I lived, and I live. What did Tinder give me? At the same time, it has taught me the value of true connection, casual encounter sites ecorts and babes. You start browsing again, he starts browsing — and you can see when anyone was last on it. He knew all the cool restaurants, the best places and, as he was only in London occasionally, things moved faster than they should. Sex didn't have to be wrapped up with commitment, and "will he?

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Most often, though, I didn't have sex at all. I had the chance to live the Sex and the City fantasy. We'd only been together eight months but I was serious, deeply in love, and seven months of celibacy followed. It's superficial, based purely on physical attraction, but that's what I was looking for. I'm more open to the idea of swinging, open relationships, which is something I'd never have expected. My first Tinder date was with someone I'd seen before on OKCupid — the same faces crop up on all these sites. I used to be committed to it — now I think, if it's just sex, a one-night hook-up, where's the harm? I saw the negatives — that merry-go-round of hook-ups and guys never calling again.

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